The Perfect Wife

Alright I will admit it…I am a perfectionist. My whole life I have felt that I needed to do everything and I needed to do everything perfectly. I was your 4-point, band member, church going, class president, neat freak. You know the kind of person that has a melt down at the kitchen table when I discovered I received a B on a test. So it is not surprising to hear that I brought this perfectionism into our marriage. Since day one of our marriage I have felt the desire to be the “perfect” wife. I would cook, bake, clean, craft, decorate the home, work, stay in shape, be spontaneous, write a blog and the list goes on and on. I found myself doing everything I could to not offend or cause unhappiness to my husband. What I wanted was not important; the most important thing was making him happy. Now going on three years into our marriage, I am realizing I cannot fulfill my vision of the “perfect” wife. For starters there is not enough time in the day to accomplish all of those activities and to do them well. There is nothing wrong with me if I cannot always be spontaneous or am not consistent on writing a blog. I should not be ashamed if my house is not always clean or we eat left overs some night of the week. My husband will not think any less of me. I will not ruin my husband’s happiness if I speak up and voice my opinion on what I wanted. You see I can be a “perfect” wife, but who I am as a “perfect” wife will and should look a lot different than my friends’ versions of a perfect wife. We each have different interests, skills, passions. When I am living my life in relationship with Christ, doing the things I enjoy, focusing on the things I am good at, speaking my husband’s love language I am being the perfect wife God created me to be. There is not a one size fits all mold for the perfect wife. Don’t let the world tell you otherwise.