Hitched at 20

 

     I cannot begin to explain to you the looks and ridicule I got when people found out I was engaged at 19 years old. The general assumption I received from people who did not know me was that I was marrying someone from the military or that I was pregnant. A lot of the congratulations I received seemed forced and not genuine. There was a lack of celebration over our engagement and in some cases it almost seemed like people were mourning my life. Now I am not saying any of this for you to feel sorry for me, because in reality it doesn’t matter. I was going to marry my husband whether or not I had the approval of the general population. But I will say that getting married at a young age is hard enough without getting the feeling that people think you are crazy.

     I chose to get married at 20 for multiple reasons. First let me begin with this. I believe marriage is something that should never be entered into lightly. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that takes a lot of work and extends way past the emotions of feeling in love. Our decision to get married did not have anything to do with feelings of romantic love. I got married young simply because I had met the guy I was committed to for the rest of my life. My husband truly was and is my best friend. I knew him, I knew how he worked and I knew his love of Christ. We both knew that we made each other better. We challenged each other and were daily challenged by God. I knew God could use Mark and I for bigger and better things. Mark and I both knew that the opportunity to get married was not a curse as many see it, but a gift. Marriage created a safe environment for us to be ourselves. Where we knew we could love and be loved in return with no conditions. If you noticed concerns about our jobs or financial success were not a part of this decision. Yes, we made sure we could survive (notice I said survive, not live affluently). Yes, we made a commitment to finish college no matter the circumstances. And yes we made sure each of us had a job (not a career, a job that could pay the bills).

      Now I am not saying everyone should get married young. In fact I believe there are some people who should not get married young. Being married is a huge responsibility and you should only commit to it when you are truly ready. But I do ask one thing. Don’t judge another couple because they have chosen to get married young or because they have chosen to wait until they are a little bit older to get married. There is no set time line for marriage. Just because I was ready to be married at 20, doesn’t mean you are. And just because you are not ready to get married, doesn’t mean the girl who sits in front of you in class isn’t ready either.