Slightly Critical….OK Maybe a Little More Than Slightly

        I received an e-mail this morning from iMom.com (seriously great resource if you are interested) about being a critical wife. It was one of those e-mails where I realized that the author must somehow know everything about me and was writing it directly to me. You know that kind you read and your stomach turns because of the conviction you feel. I think when we first get married everything seems so happy and blissful. The small things our husbands do not seem like that big of a deal. But one year down the line and your husband is still doing those same small things that drive you insane, like forgetting to do something you asked him to do or leaving his dirty socks by the couch or my personal favorite throwing his dirty clothes into my clean sock basket!  All of these things begin to pile up into this long list of everything your husband does wrong and suddenly that blissful marriage you had a year ago is not quite blissful anymore. We let the bad list consume our minds until we get to this point of criticizing our husband’s every move. No wonder the poor man isn’t romantic like he used to be, we’ve drained him of feeling adequate to do anything right. I do not know about you guys, but I truly want my husband to succeed. I want my husband to be respected throughout our city, just like the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman was. But if I keep telling him that he can do nothing right at home, chances are he will start to believe he can do nothing right outside of our home as well.

      So how do we fix this? Truthfully I cannot give you an easy solution to this problem, but I can offer some advice that I am trying; start focusing on the good things. Write them out on paper and read them to yourself multiple times a day if you have to. Another idea sit down with your husband and discuss the beginning of your relationship. Why did you get married in the first place? In the e-mail I received they provided a great tool with questions to discuss between the two of you. It might prove useful to get the conversation going between the two of you.

Ladies, let’s give our husbands a break. They deserve it. 

        For those of my readers not married, this is transferable into all areas of life. Who are you overly critical of? Your roommate, your parents, your co-worker? Are you creating a list of their wrongs and focusing on that? If so try to start focusing on their strengths. Let’s be honest our culture does enough criticizing on its own. We have the opportunity to be a breath of fresh air in someone’s life.